About a month ago I was witness to a most disturbing scene between a young pre-school boy and his mother. It seems that the grocery store is where I see the most instances of frustrated mothers and out of control children. Well this day was no different – with one exception.

The incident started as they usually do – I heard a rebellious child making demands on his mother. She in turn was threatening him with all kinds of lost privileges if he didn’t stop – which I’m sure he heard many times before because it didn’t affect him in the least. As I wheeled down the aisles, the demands were increasingly louder and the mother became increasingly more unraveled – she then proceeded to call him bad with wait until you get home threats. Well, as I expected, the boy went into high gear and proceeded to hit and say hateful remarks back to his mother. My heart grieved at this situation as I always do when I so often see this drama played out. The difference in this scene came when an elderly lady went up to the boy and very softly said “Don’t hit your mother, she’s your best friend.” How sad I felt when I saw that the words of this elderly woman didn’t phase either one of them. I later met up with the woman and she said that that type of behavior was never tolerated in her household and I concurred wholeheartedly with her. What she was saying was that things have changed, children now rule the parents.

Why are the children of the 21^st century so out of control? Many reasons; primarily because of the breakdown of the family structure through divorce, living together without benefit of marriage, unwed mothers etc., which in turn leads to single parent homes, child abuse, domestic abuse, adultery, poverty, and a whole host of curses upon the family. I am not going to address these issues at this time as my thrust is to help mothers and fathers raise Godly children in spite of their life circumstances.

Like the young mother I saw at the grocery store, many women are brought to the end of themselves by failure and defeat. They react in anger, which later manifests in guilt, which then manifests in loss of peace and joy. This woman was ignorant of the Word of God and consequently was experiencing her child not as a blessing but rather as a curse. (Pr 29:15) “The rod and reproof give wisdom: But a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.” She obviously had no peace, joy, or rest in this child. The Bible says, “Correct your son, and he shall give you rest; Yes, he shall give delight unto your soul.” (Pr 29:17) This woman and countless thousands of others have been influenced by the liberal ways of the world (secular humanism) and/or by their own struggling peers. They have no knowledge of how to raise children Biblically. My offer of help comes from the Word of God, which dispels all confusion and guilt, and brings peace and divine order to the home.

At the outset we have to be willing to erase from our minds all secular humanism teachings, since humanism denies the power of God and stresses the power of self-help. We have to acknowledge we cannot function by self-help but rather to depend totally on the power of God’s Word to help us in time of need. We have to abandon the popular idea that we need our child’s love and approval, but rather look to what God says about love. We must never use “smother love”, a love I describe as “self gratifying” with sentiment toward your child in order to “spare yourself” the pain of seeing your child endure suffering or disappointment. A Godly mother’s love must realize that obedience to God’s commands for both parent and child will exact a high cost and years of growing pains. The Bible puts authority in the hands of the parents and teaches that parents are not equal with their children, but they are called to be the head of their children and train, correct, and chastise them appropriately throughout their childhood. (Pr 22:6) “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Look around and you realize that ungodly wisdom never works; you may get a quick fix, but without God you will pay a dear price for sacrificing your children to these teachings, which very often present you with more questions than answers. The Bible says, “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.” (Ps 32:8) If you believe the Bible and submit yourself to the Word with a willingness to obey the instructions of God, the Lord will give you the grace to implement His Word in your life and in the lives of your children.

It is very helpful to realize that children are not little adults – they are little children, which equates to child-like behavior. The Word says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” (Pr 22:15) A child is given to us as a blessing, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” (Ps 127:3), therefore we are under command to raise them to be Godly seed. Remember Hannah? She asked the Lord for a son and at great sacrifice to her “smother love” she gave him back to the Lord. “For this child I prayed: And the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore I have lent him to the Lord: As long as he lives, he shall be lent to the Lord…” (1Sa 1:27). Samuel was trained from his mother’s knee to live a life of obedience to the Lord, and when he was weaned (about 5 years old) Hannah gave her only child back to the Lord, to be trained by Eli the priest. Samuel lived under Eli’s tutorage until the appointed time, life when he became a prophet used mightily of God. We, like Hannah, have to nurture and train our children to be Godly seed and give them back to the Lord for His use.

Abraham was another wonderful example of willingness to obey the Lord at whatever cost to his personal happiness. God had to prove Abraham’s heart. In other words, the Lord wanted to see if Abraham was willing to obey Him ahead of anything in the world, and the Lord chose to test Abraham by asking him to sacrifice his only beloved son Isaac. Abraham passed the test. “…for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou has not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.” (Ge 22:12)

Withhold your child from godly training and you will surely lose him to the evil of the world. “Withhold not correction from the child, for if you beat him with the rod, he shall not die. You shall beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell.” (Pr 29:15)

My goal in this paper is to get you to think Biblically. Use the Word of God as your child-rearing guide. Implement the Word by faith; with great love, patience, peace, and balance. The Word will not fail. Ask help from your church and Godly older women who can help you in the day-to-day struggles. Do a Bible study in the book of Psalms and Proverbs as well as the Epistles and you will grow in godly wisdom. Be faithful to diligently seek His Will and this beautiful promise from God’s Word will come to pass. “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of they children.” (Isa 54:13) Amen.